A question on the Buddhist marriage

photo from a Buddhist marriage in Maharastra, India
As you can see, I am not the only one who officiates
Buddhist weddings

I heard that my recent posts on the Buddhist marriage ceremony  created a lot of discomfort to many. How the normal union between man and woman can make some feel uncomfortable is beyond the capacity to understand of any normal person who knows Shakyamuni Buddha's teaching and the natural differences between men and women. Perhaps many fake Buddhists who put LGBTQ's ideology on the same level with the Buddhist teaching prefer to think with their anus instead of their brains 😀, so they do not deserve my attention. However, here is a question that should get an answer:

On the Buddhist meaning of marriage and the role of husband and wife

Photo from the first wedding ceremony
officiated at Amidaji temple

 click here to read the Spanish version

It is the way of Amidaji to always ask the Dharma in both the most important aspect of the afterlife as well as the details of our daily life. In this case we want to know what the Dharma has to say about marriage, so we will listen to the teachings that Shakyamuni Buddha gave to couples (men and women).

The woman should pay attention and contemplate what He said about the duties of a good wife and the man should pay attention and contemplate the duties of a husband. 

The followers of our tradition should empty their cup (mind) of modernist and worldly ideologies and listen deeply to the Buddha’s teaching. To those who argue that such teachings on couples should be changed and adapted to our so-called “modern times” and “modern views” I say that the reason we have so many marriage problems, broken couples, destroyed families and neglected children nowadays is especially because such teachings and instructions are not carefully observed anymore. It is because men are not willing to assume the role and duties of husbands and women are not capable to assume the role and duties of good wives.

The first Jodo Shinshu Buddhist wedding ceremony was officiated at Amidaji

The happy couple - Myoko Adelina
and Monshin Sorinel

 The first wedding was officiated at Amidaji temple on Sunday October 18th, after the couple   attended a three day Nembutsu retreat.

 Here are some photos and explanations. 

 The service started with a short Nembutsu recitation followed by the Three   Invitations when we invited Amida, Shakyamuni and all Buddhas to enter the   Amidado (Hall of Amida) and spread petals of roses to welcome them. 

 Then we continued with the Nembutsu liturgy of our temple with the couple   making oshoko (offering incense), bowing towards the altar and to each  other,  saying their vows and drinking together bitter tea from the same cup. 

Conditions for marriage ceremonies at Amidaji temple

 fragment from Amidaji Constitution  

Marriage ceremonies can be held at Amidaji temples on the following conditions[1]:

     a)    Only between biologically born men and women (see the important note bellow). Amidaji temple recognizes the natural differences between biologically born men and biologically born women, as Shakyamuni Buddha himself addressed to His disciples as (biologically born) men and (biologically born) women when He gave advice to couples. He never gave advices to couples who were not (biologically born) men and (biologically born) women, which means that we too cannot recognize such people as couples to be married. This is also why any sexual or gender ideology which tends to disregard such natural and biological differences between men and women, like for example, the ideas that sexual identity is something that can be chosen without regard to one's biology (without regard to the fact that one was born a man or a woman), will not be promoted by Amidaji temple and its representatives, priests and teachers.