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| Thoughts come and go. They are like clouds. Stick with Amida, not with the wandering thoughts. |
Intellectually I believe in the existence of Amida and His Pure Land, and I do want to go there, but there is obviously some kind of emotional or other block which is preventing me from having settled shinjin and from really experiencing Amida as a living presence in my life. What is your advice? Can you help?
My answer: When the thought of leaving for another path occurs again in your mind, just do not follow it. Take the definitive decision to stick with Amida Buddha no matter what thoughts appear in your mind.
Thoughts come and go. This is what they do. They are like clouds. However, they have no power unless we empower them. If you simply let them come and go without focusing on them, they will disappear, but if you pay attention to them, they become bigger and bigger and will eventually make you take bad decisions.
So, simply decide that you will stick with Amida. There is no special solution to solve worldly problems or spiritual problems other than letting go. Simply let go and stick with Amida.
Next, about that kind of emotional block that you think is preventing you from not having settled shinjin (faith) – let go to the idea of waiting for an emotional problem or other type of block to go away. Abandon the idea that something must go and another thing must stay. Stop waiting for special experiences of Amida as a living presence in your life. Amida is indeed a living presence in our lives but we cannot see Him or feel Him because we are not Buddhas! Only Buddhas can see and feel the presence of other Buddhas! Unenlightened beings cannot recognize a Buddha even if that Buddha is sitting in front of them every day, as Amida does.
So, it is pointless to worry about any kind of emotional block that prevents you to experience Amida or have settled shinjin. Its normal for ordinary people to have all sorts of emotional problems and various types of blocks, so don’t worry about that anymore! Shinjin is just a simple faith, a definitive decision to entrust Amida Buddha to take you to His Pure Land in the same way you trust a good mechanic to fix your car or a good plumber to repair the pipes in your house.
Just as you know and trust that the mechanic is able to fix your car, you also know and trust that Amida will take you to His Pure Land. There is no big deal in shinjin, and no special feeling. Faith (shinjin) co-exists with our blind passions, and our emotional ups and downs because shinjin is NOT satori (Enlightenment). Amida did not promise to fix our emotional problems in this life, but only to put us in the stage of non-retrogression for birth in His Pure Land.
So again, abandon the tendency of your monkey mind to go to another path and stop waiting for special things to happen in relation with shinjin. Settled shinjin is knowing and trusting that Amida will take you to His Pure Land. As long as you accept the existence of Amida Buddha and His Pure Land, and you want to go there, then simply trust that He will take you there. Allow Him to take you to His Pure Land and do not think that shinjin is something that must be accompanied by special states or feelings. As Shinran explained, the reason we do not see Amida or His Light is because we have blind passions,
My evil passions hinder me from perceiving it,
But His Light of great compassion never ceases to shine on
me untiringly."[1]
Settled shinjin means that you know Amida exists and will take you to His Pure Land. That is all! Nothing else! Experiencing something is optional and not important. To know that Amida Buddha exists and that He will take you to His Pure Land is all that matters.
[1] Kyogyoshinsho – On Teaching, Practice, Faith, and Enlightenment,chapter II, translated by Hisao Inagaki, Numata Center for Buddhist Translation and Research, Kyoto, 2003, p. 80
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