Today I wish to share with you a personal experience which happened many years ago, even before I became a priest. Whether you believe me or not, it doesn’t matter, as I can’t prove to you that I am telling the truth. So, you may treat this testimony as you wish.
Arround 4 a.m. I woke up from the bed, not feeling well due to a bad experience and an ugly dream I had that night, and I went straight to my personal altar. There I started to say the nembutsu.
Suddenly an image of Amida Buddha appeared floating in the air and a bright but impossible to describe light came from his head toward me. The image was somehow the same as the one from the altar but more bright and with that beautiful light.
When I saw the image and light I instantly became calm and I was overwhelmed with a sense of safety and security. I felt and I also heard in my head something like "don't worry I am here and I am protecting you". All that experience lasted less than a minute, so I didn't have enough time to savor it, but I felt it very strong and real. It was as if I was looking at somebody sitting in front of me - this is how I saw that image of Amida Buddha. And it was so unexpected.
With that strong sense of security and peace I could finally went to sleep again.
I often remember that experience, and although it may sound incredibile, I know it really happened. And it was not a dream, but a fully awake experience. It is like seeing somebody right in front of me, this is how I saw Amida Buddha’s image emanating clear light.
I know other ordinary Pure Land followers like me had simmilar experiences, but few dare to speak freely about them. However, today I decided to speak. I was thinking a lot whether to do it or not, as I was and I am still afraid that some might call me a liar or a crazy person having hallucinations…. But as I can do nothing to change their opinions, I think is better to stop worrying about it. We live in a secularized world where to have or speak about such religious experiences or visions might attract exclusion from the company of the so called, respectable people.
I also hope the readers will realize the mechanism of these experiences and not have a wrong understanding. They appear only due to Amida's Power and not because of some merits on the part of the practitioner. Every good experience the believer has, is due only to Amida. They just happen or don’t happen at all. I think we should not worry if they don’t appear. Certainly, we should not depend on miraculous events or visions.
Whether we have or not have such experiences it has nothing to do with our birth in the Pure Land, as this comes naturally only due to shinjin (faith). Diamond like faith is all that matters in Jodo Shinshu and this is nothing special, but a simple, firm entrusting to Amida Buddha.
I am not a special kind of person because I had that vision, on the contrary, I remained the same ordinary person as before. I really don’t know why it happened, but it surely happened and for this I feel grateful to Amida.
Again, it was a real event in my life and I don’t care if others believe me or not. Indeed I had a vision with Amida Buddha who appeared in front of me in a form adapted to my mind. Nobody can take this experience from me.
Namo Amida Butsu
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