Incapable to read even a single Dharma sentence

 -fragment from a letter-

In times of great difficulties I cannot read a single Dharma sentence, nor am I capable to make my daily devotions properly. To think, to contemplate something, to write or translate becomes a great burden. Everything stops and I cannot do anything.

In those moments, when I am incapable of any religious activities, I often become deeply aware of the friendship and care of Amida Buddha. My inability of doing anything, even to read or recite a single line is entirely accepted and I feel nothing like a reprimand on His part. I blame myself for my inaction and my incapacity, but still the feeling of being accepted as I am never disappears from my heart and mind. So, even if I say the Name often or seldom, I know that my assurance of birth in the Pure Land is the same and the Buddha is here as always, walking with me, seeing me, protecting me.

Indeed, I realize that Jodo Shinshu is for me, Josho, a person incapable of any sustained practice, who often falls and wanders here and there driven by various attachments. It is this feeling of being accepted no matter what, that makes me a Jodo Shinshu follower. Without Jodo Shinshu I could not be a Buddhist and the gates of Freedom would be forever closed for me. This is not a metaphor, nor a sign of humbleness, but the simple truth. There is no hidden quality in myself, no special capacity that can be of any help in the matter of birth and death. Still, such a person is saved and assured of Buddhahood due to Amida.

Indeed, the greatest miracle in religion is not that Shakyamuni or Nagarjuna became a Buddha, but that an ordinary person will become a Buddha without deserving it. Many wise and virtuous people will never understand this....

Namo Amida Butsu